


They Say That Love Is Forever

by stainedcoffeecups



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Blogger!Harry, Crying, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Anal Sex, M/M, Manager Liam, Niall and Louis are kind of asses, Panic Attacks, the other three are still in the band, they apologize though, youtuber!harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 16:22:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3735580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stainedcoffeecups/pseuds/stainedcoffeecups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU where...</p><p>Nineteen year old YouTuber Harry Styles gets invited by some from friends to a party where he meets one third of the most famous boy-band, Louis Tomlinson. But can the two of them juggle a relationship in the spotlight coming from both their professions, or were the two of them never actually meant to last?</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Say That Love Is Forever

The digital red numbers were taunting him every time he blinked. Four ten in the morning and Harry was still up, typing away.

This blog post was so important to him, even if he tried to go to sleep he wouldn’t be able to. He had finished it about an hour ago and now it was the revision process. He had already caught three spelling mistakes, which, thank god he caught them.

Harry Styles was a nineteen year old YouTuber. He’s got about 2 million (and growing) subscribers who have faithfully followed him since he was a nervous fifteen year old with a blog. He wrote about everything from his favorite recipes his mum uses, to the latest episode of X-Factor. What he didn’t really like to talk about was his experiences with depression and panic-attacks. He’s such an advocate for both, but he hardly let anyone see that side of him; he was scared of what could happen.

But now that so many people have been leaving him such nice comments about how much he’s helped him just by being himself, he knows he has to go that extra mile to prove he can truly relate to each and every one of them.

“Fuck, wait-” Harry muttered picking up his phone and calling the only person he could trust to be honest with him.

“Harry I swear to god if you haven’t been asleep yet and you’re still working on that blog post I will seriously come and kill you.” Liam huffed out trying to clear the sleep away from his voice. This was the third call he’s gotten after midnight and he had a right to be upset.

“Li…please just let me read you the ending…I don’t know if it sounds okay.” Harry pouted and tiredly rubbed at his eyes. He promised himself the second it was posted he was going to go to sleep and never stress out this much again.

He laughed, knowing he was lying to himself.

“Babe c’mon, Pez comes home tomorrow and you don’t want to be too tired to come over.” Liam started, sitting up so his pillow would stop trying to pull him in again. “I know you, H. You’re worrying about nothing. That whole thing comes right from your heart and I know it’s perfect. Stop worrying.” Liam leaned back on his elbow, staring at the street light outside his window to wake himself up a little more.

“I-” Harry sighed and waited for the burning sensation of tears to go away, “I know it’s just…I’m nervous to tell them all this. You and Pez know just cause you’ve seen me having an attack. What if they hate me?”

“Okay now you’re being ridiculous” Liam said kicking his covers off and slipping on his slippers. “I’m coming over, and if you’re not in bed with the blog post saved to finish later I will seriously have a meltdown.” Liam huffed, making the short way over to Harry’s apartment next door to his.

Liam smiled happily when the only light coming from Harry’s room was from his phone as he set it on the charger. “Now I’m going to get in this bed and we’re going to cuddle and you’re going to go to sleep. Understand?” He asked smiling playfully slipping in next to his best friend.

“Yes Sir” Harry saluted and giggled quietly letting himself get pulled into Liam’s chest where sleep quickly overtook him.

~

The feedback on the blog post was incredibly supportive, and it made Harry think that it made those few fans who were still insecure realize they could trust him.

Perrie had also been back for a week. Which was filled with ice-cream, rom-coms, and cuddles with his two best friends. Harry honestly couldn’t be happier.

He had been backstage in the wings as Perrie made her way out to center stage for the audition that changed her life. He had been there when her band won, and he had been there at the concert at the O2 for her own concert. He couldn’t have been prouder of her.

Now though Harry found himself sat between her and Liam as they were gossiping about the hot celebrities and all the people they used to go to school with who now had such a big interest in her.

Harry was happily eating his ice-cream when Perrie jabbed him in his thigh with her toe. “Ow! Pez, you made me get brain freeze!” he whined cuddling closer to Liam to get away from the mean lady.

“Well I’m sorry but you weren’t listening to a single thing I was just saying!” She huffed and crossed her arms.

Harry gave it a few minutes hoping to see if she cracked and when she didn’t he rolled his eyes playfully and crawled over until he was cuddled up on her lap. “I’m sorry, please forgive me” he pouted up at her making his eyes go big.

Perrie only lasted ten seconds before laughing happily and throwing her arms around him. “I was saying I met someone at a party a couple months ago. A very attractive someone.” She said wiggling her eyebrows at Harry.

“Who?!” Harry gasped sitting up straighter

“Oh I don’t know-” She said airily looking over her nails, picking at some of the polish, “Have you by any chance heard of a band called One Direction?” She asked looking up at him with a wide smile.

Harry’s jaw dropped just as Liam threw himself across the couch to be closer. “Pez, are you serious? You’ve finally met the ‘Tanned God’ you’ve been pining after for years?” Liam asked in a whisper, like there were others in the room who weren’t allowed to hear what they were talking about.

A wide grin spread across her lips and she nodded, looking like a bobble head who was in love Harry thought to himself. “What’s he like? Have you met the others?” Harry asked biting his lip.

“He’s so nice! He’s such a gentleman!” She gushed happily, acting as if keeping this to herself was such a chore. “He’s throwing a party tomorrow at his flat celebrating the launch of their fifth album and…” she trailed off and somehow her grin got even wider.

“And what?!” Harry and Liam both yelled causing Perrie to laugh.

“Annnnd, I told him how my two best friends were such big fans and he said any friend of mine is a friend of his!” she said clapping.

“If I wasn’t so happy I’d yell at you for how fucking cheesy that was!” Liam yelled but he was laughing too hard for it to be understood.

Harry giggled and immediately opened his arms for Liam to launch himself into them. Perrie let out a quiet oof and wrapped her arms around the two of them in her lap. “Alright boys you know I love you but the two of you are crushing my legs.” She giggled, gently running her fingers through Harry’s hair. “Are you okay with that? Like, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to-” She started knowing Harry absolutely hated crowds, especially when he didn’t know anyone, “But Louis did mention how he would love to meet you.” She said smiling when Harry gasped.

~

The next night Harry found himself stood between Liam and Perrie in front of Zayn Malik’s flat. He watched as Perrie reached out to ring the bell and just as she was about to ring it Harry grabbed at her elbow and clutched it. Perrie looked up and raised a perfectly thin eyebrow in question.

“What if-” Before he could even finish his thought the door opened and all of a sudden Perrie had her arms full of than man of the hour, Zayn Malik.

“Babes you came!” He said pulled back to peck her lips, “I knew I heard someone out here. Oh hello, I’m Zayn. You must be Harry and Liam.” He smiled first shaking Liam’s hand then turning and doing the same to Harry.

All Harry could think about was how thick and pretty his accent was, and how his eyes were like golden orbs. Harry managed to stutter out a quiet hi and followed the three of them as he was lead inside the spacious flat.

“So I may have invited you guys over an hour before everyone else is coming. I just wanted to like, introduce myself properly and have some quiet time with you guys.” Zayn explained sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, a pretty blush spreading across his cheeks.

“You’re so cute.” Perrie smiled and pecked his cheek linking their arms together. “H is a little nervous, but I said you had a study full of books he could go to if the crowd got too much for him.” Perrie explained ignoring the glares Harry was sending at her.

“Oh of course! C’mon I’ll show you what room it is so you’ll know where to go.” He said nodding as he turned and started leading them up a staircase.

“He’s really nice, I’m honestly so happy for Pez. She needs someone down to earth like him who knows what she’s going through.” Liam said quietly as he trailed behind them next to Harry.

Harry nodded his agreement, too shocked to say anything at how nice this house was. He felt embarrassed at the little whole in the wall apartment he called home. Which when he bought thought was the coolest place ever. “So this is the study.” Zayn said pulling him out of his head.

Harry’s jaw dropped as he took in the floor to ceiling bookshelves completely packed with books. “There’s a computer here too so if you want to just chill feel free to hang here. Parties can overwhelm me too so please, don’t be afraid to just come in here for a bit.” Zayn smiled striking up a conversation about the easel in the corner with Perrie.

“Can I just live here?” Harry muttered quietly so only Liam would hear him.

~

The party was three hours in and Harry was panicking.

Sweaty bodies kept bumping into him and someone kept trying to grab him and he didn’t like it. Liam had been missing since going to get the two of them a drink and Perrie had ditched the two of them when the party had started while Zayn showed her off to all his friends.

Harry had managed to back himself up against a wall, the coolness felt amazing against his overheated skin and grounded him a little. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes counting back from fifty and just as he reached ten he felt a cool hand on his elbow.

Harry jumped yanking his arm away and looked up locking eyes with _blueblueblue_. He could see his thin lips moving as he spoke but from mixture of the loud music and still recovering from the panic attack couldn’t for the life of him figure out what he was saying.

Louis Tomlinson. The Louis Tomlinson was standing in front of him looking so concerned he almost wanted to cry. He couldn’t hear what he was saying or even try to respond to save his life so when Perrie ran over he thanked the heavens.

“Sorry Louis, he hates crowds. Let me just take him out to get some fresh air for a mo’” She explained wrapping a protective arm around Harry’s shoulders which he immediately shrunk into while she led him to the balcony.

“You okay babe?” Perrie asked running her fingers through Harry’s curls after he managed to fold himself onto the bench leaning his weight against her side.

“I’m sorry I’m ruining-” He started biting his lip when Perrie tensed and looked at him. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, if anything it’s my fault because I knew you really weren’t comfortable and yet I still left you by yourself” She said seriously putting a gentle hand on his face so he was forced to meet eyes with her.

“Pez, it’s not your job to babysit me. You can’t always blame yourself, I mean c’mon Liam promised to stay with me but I guess the line to make a drink is really long.” Harry said trying to laugh a little but it came out just as pained as he felt.

“Wait, you didn’t see him?” She gasped pulling out her phone. “The only reason I came looking for you was because I walked past him with his tongue down Niall’s throat!” She squealed putting her phone in Harry’s face to show him the picture she took.

“Oh my god, they’re literally playing tonsil hockey.” Harry said in awe startling when the French door behind them started opening up.

Perrie looked over her shoulder smirking when she saw Louis sheepishly stepping out with a bottle of water in his hand and gently squeezed Harry’s thigh giving him a look. “I need to wee, I’ll be back.” She said pecking his cheek before standing up and pecking Louis’ cheek as well.

“Sorry- I uh, I didn’t mean to make her leave. I just- I thought you could use a cold water.” Louis stumbled out, jerking his arm out after a minute so Harry could reach the bottle.

“Oh, uh thank you.” Harry said giving a shy smile before taking a long sip of the cold water, sighing when it cooled his throat and chest.

Louis kept standing for a few minutes before finally just dropping down and sitting next to Harry on the bench. He started speaking but all Harry could concentrate on was the spot where their two thighs were pressed against each other. He finally looked up and saw Louis looking at him with a small smile on his lips and immediately blushed.

“I’m sorry what did you say? I kind of zoned out there for a minute,” he explained laughing nervously.

Louis smiled warmly and leaned back into the bench more. “I was just saying that my sisters are big fans of yours. Can’t tell you how many times they made me watch you and Liam is it, doing the chubby bunny challenge.”

Harry felt his face get hot again and took another sip of water to buy himself some time. The Louis Tomlinson just said he watched his videos, albeit with his sisters. It was still Louis Tomlinson. Wait did that mean he watched the video he made about how amazing One Direction was especially how hot the Yorkshire native was. Fuck.

“I’m glad they liked it.” He said honestly smiling shyly. “Took me ages to get Liam to sit in front of the camera. He’s usually behind the scenes doesn’t really like being on the other side.” He explained starting to get comfortable as they struck up a conversation about all the other YouTube related things he’s done.

It was two and a half hours later when Louis grabbed his phone from his lap and punched in his number texting himself. “I hope you’ll consider doing a video with me sometime, I do believe you said you wanted to do that in a video. It was right after you said how amazing me bum is.” Louis said smiling smugly when Harry blushed.

“Louis, I-” Harry started but got cut off when Louis leaned over and kissed his cheek. And really, Harry’s just proud he still remembered how to breathe.

“Honestly I’d be a little upset if you thought otherwise, least I know the feelings are all mutual.” He smiled before standing up and stretching his back. “See you later, Curly.” He smiled opening the sliding doors and disappearing back into the crowd.

Harry slumped into the bench, a shit eating grin plastered on his face and that’s how Liam found him twenty minutes later.

“You look happy.” Liam said flopping down on the bench startling Harry out of his head.

He looked up and smiled, automatically swinging his legs up to drape them over Liam’s lap. “I could say the same about you.” Harry said laughed as he poked the love-bite on Liam’s neck.

Liam huffed and pushed Harry’s prodding fingers away, “So I just saw Louis come in from out here what happened? Was it like you’ve always imagined?”

Harry bit his lip trying to suppress a smile but failed miserably. “He’s so nice, Li.” He gushed quietly. “Like he was so polite and made sure I was alright after you so rudely left me alone. And guess what!” Harry exclaimed.

Liam was surprised at the quick pace Harry was speaking but knew this didn’t happen a lot so he paid close attention to his friend. “What Haz?” he asked smiling.

“Louis said his sisters are such huge fans of me and that he loved our chubby bunny video! But wait it gets better!” He squealed covering Liam’s mouth as it tried to open with his fingers.

Harry took a shuddering breath from how excited he was, “He kissed my cheek- right here,” he pointed to the spot near the corner of his lips, “gave me his bloody phone number. And said that the feelings were all mutual!” Harry covered his own mouth trying to quiet down his giggles

“Aw Haz,” Liam smiled and pulled his younger friend into his chest giving him a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you, babe!” Liam whispered pressing a kiss to the crown of his head.

Harry hummed contently and pressed his face into Liam’s throat, purposefully poking at the love bite while he was hidden there. He waited a good ten minutes then decided when he started to fall asleep he should start heading home.

“Well, I’m gonna head out. But remember to be safe, use protection. You know the drill.” He said mock seriously yelping when Liam poked his side.

“Yeah, yeah. Text me when you get home H.” Liam said standing up and pulling him into a hug.

Harry smiled and nuzzled into his embrace staying there until Liam’s phone in his front pocket started vibrating. “I mean I love you Liam but please respect my wishes to remain just friends.” Harry laughed pulling away. He pecked his cheek and then went back into the party trying to remember how to get to the front door.

He must’ve been aimlessly wandering for at least five minutes before he felt a gentle arm wrap around his waist and a chine rest on his shoulder. “Alright so I promised myself I’d let you have space then come back when you were ready, but I’m an impatient guy.” Louis murmured into his ear practically kissing the lobe as he spoke.

Harry smiled and managed to turn around in his arms, setting his palms flat against his chest. “Yeah? Well what should I do to help you out?” Harry asked biting his lip. From where they were pressed together he could feel the outline of Louis’ hard on clear as day against his thigh.

Louis grinned and stepped closer so he could be heard over the music, “Let me have one drink and one dance, then I will personally drive you home.” Louis said bringing up one of his hands from where it was resting on Harry’s hip to thumb over his bottom lip, releasing the grip his teeth had on it.

“Um, yeah o-okay” Harry stuttered blushing again as Louis’ smile grew as he slipped his hand into his own.

“Great follow me, Curly.”

 

Harry woke up with the sun in his eyes, his own hair in his mouth, and an ache in his bum. He tried to think back to last night trying to remember if he fell as he nuzzled his face into his pillow. He couldn’t even remember getting home, and it wasn’t until a loud snore next to him sent his body and mind to go into shock.

After a few minutes of regulating his breathing he finally found the courage to slowly roll over and was met with the most beautiful sight he has ever seen. It was Louis obviously and maybe even thankfully, spread out starfished with the sheet sitting low on his hips, exposing the tiniest hints of hair. Harry took this moment he had to just admire the older lad, for the beauty he was. He memorized the tattoos he’s seen multiple times, and resisted the urge to run his fingers through the feathery fringe that was fanned out across his forehead.

“Maybe take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Louis mumbled out cracking open and glancing at Harry, a playful smile taking over his lips.

“Yeah but, nothing beats the real life experience.” Harry said blushing when Louis chuckled and rubbed a hand over his face.

Louis flipped himself onto his side facing the younger lad and reached out pulling so their bodies crashed together. “This bed is so soft. And you smell so good.” Louis mumbled into his throat.

It took a moment for Harry to relax with the closeness of the position, but soon he was relaxed enough to throw his leg over Louis’ hip. “I think it’s you that smells good, you’re hair smells like coconut.” Harry smiled burying his nose there to get a whiff.

After ten more minutes of the two just enjoying each other’s company the older lad picked his head up and smiled wide, a little too wide for so early on a hangover morning. “So I would do this right and bring you breakfast in bed after the incredible time you showed me last night but, I respect you too much to go and ruin your kitchen.” He explained biting his lip as Harry giggled.

“I’ll take care of breakfast, feel free to shower or anything. Make yourself at home.” Harry said kicking off the blankets and because he felt so brave placed a small kiss on Louis’ nose.

He blushed standing up because he was stark naked and blushed even more when he could see Louis staring right at his arse from in the mirror. “Take a picture it’ll last longer.” Harry mocked jokingly as he pulled up his boxers.

“I would babe, believe me. I just can’t seem to find me iPhone.” Louis said smiling smugly when Harry blushed and left the bedroom before he could embarrass himself.

Harry doesn’t know what he expected, but walking to his room with a tray of food for two, then seeing freshly showered Louis sitting on his bed in his clothes just does something to him. He really can’t explain it but he felt hot all over. The good kind of hot.

The two sat side by side watching shitty telly as they ate. And when they were done fell back against the pillows in a tangle of limbs, content on watching the telly for a little while longer. Harry couldn’t even begin to describe how amazing this truly felt. All the other relationships he had attempted were just so awkward, he constantly felt like he needed to try. But with Louis, that was different. They could go an hour watching telly and not say a single thing to each other but it felt normal; comfortable even. He felt like he knew him for years.

“You know I really like you.” Louis broke him out of his thoughts as he started pressing little kisses on Harry’s bare shoulder.

“I-I really like you too.” Harry stuttered out, tilting his head out of instinct to let Louis have more room. He had never done anything like this. So all he could hope for was that his body would react in the way it was supposed to and if didn’t and left him to fend for himself, Louis would guide him along.

And that’s exactly what he did.

~

Harry was thriving.

Ask anyone who knew him, and they’d tell you how much happier he’s been. How much more he’s been _smiling_.

After seven months of skitting around each other like little kids Harry and Louis had finally made their relationship official. Of course it was cheesy; Louis had been involved, but ever since that day two months ago Harry had been walking around with a purpose. Now he had someone he wanted to make proud, to be happy with him. And nothing was going to stop him.

His fans had been ecstatic. No one was probably expecting to click on his newest video to find Louis Tomlinson from One Direction sitting next to him on his bed (his usual filming spot) pressing little kisses to his cheek throughout the whole eleven minute video.

Harry was sat at his desk editing his newest video, his monthly Q&A when his phone started ringing. Harry smiled as the chorus of “Strong” started up and grabbed his phone swiping the green circle.

“Hey babe.” Harry chirped happily leaning back into his desk chair.

“Hiya lovely, what’re you up to?” Harry could hear noises in the background and knew Louis was at the studio, it made him feel unbelievably special that the moments of free time Louis had to himself he chose to be on the phone with him.

“I just finished editing my new video, getting ready to post it.” Harry answered as he chose a thumbnail and clicked the little box to upload it. “You still coming over for movie night later?” he asked biting at his lip.

“Of course I am, and get your teeth off your lip. I’m the only one who can bite it.” He murmured quietly probably so the other boys wouldn’t hear what he was saying. “He I’m going to order us some take away yeah? Would you mind picking it up? Just use my card you have.”

Harry smiled absently running his thumb over his lip as he glanced at the wallet. Back when they were still just friends Louis had given him is extra card for situations exactly like this. “Yeah babe, what do you feel like? Chinese?” Harry asked hopefully.

“You read my mind.” Louis giggled using his iPad to pull up the menu and to grab the number. “You want the usual?”

“Yes please.” Harry smiled blushing, closing his laptop when the video was done uploading.

 

“Okay babe, they said about twenty five minutes. I’ll be there when you get back. Love you.” Louis said waiting until he heard it back before hanging up to finish the last bits of recording they needed to do.

Harry puttered around his flat for a little while to buy himself some time, but after all the laundry had been put away and his bed was made he really didn’t have anything else to do. He did't want to be too early to get the food because that would be awkward so he looked around desperately hoping something would jump out at him.

His eyes landed in his recording lights and he smiled, the two bulbs they needed had blown out luckily after he finished recording his last video, but he supposed he could stop by the shop to pick up some new bulbs.

The particular size of them were so expensive, but luckily he only had to replace them about two times a year. Giving him enough time between to put aside some money to pay for them. So before he grabbed his coat and wallet he went to the jar with all his saved money and headed out.

When Harry walked into the hardware store he hooked his sunnys on his shirt collar and waved at Dave, the cashier who has always been nice to him. “Back already?” He chuckled looking back down at his crossword.

“Yeah, I’ve been filming more than usual lately.” Harry laughed heading to the back aisle where all the lights were. He grabbed two, just enough for his two lights and headed back up to the till smiling politely when Dave looked up dog earing the page of the puzzle book he was on.

“I take it you’ve gotten some more inspiration recently, oh I don’t know from a certain singer?” Dave teased ringing in the two lights hitting total so the amount popped up on the little screen. Even though Harry had it memorized by now.

Once he received his change and receipt he knew he still had a few minutes to kill so he stayed and helped Dave with his crosswords.

Dave was the sweetest man Harry had ever met, other than Louis obviously. He was a single dad to the cutest three year old named Grace, who absolutely adored Harry. Sometimes on days where Dave was rushing he’d bring Grace to the store with him and Harry would meet them there and spend the day babysitting. He loved the little family.

Dave glanced up and saw a small crowd of paps gathering outside the shop and frowned when Harry took a shuddering breath in. Because they had known each other since the day Harry moved to London, he felt protective of the younger lad, knowing fully the extent his anxiety could get to.

“H, you brought your car right?” When Harry nodded Dave stood up off the stool and started walking around the counter, “C’mon I’ll walk you to your car.” He said knowing it was right out front and it wouldn’t hurt business to leave for two minutes.

Harry smiled gratefully and let him put his arm around his shoulders, letting Dave lead the way. He put his glasses back on to try and tame the flashes that would blind him otherwise and kept his head down.

“Harry look up!” “Harry over here!” “Who’s that man you’re with!” “Harry are you cheating on Louis in broad daylight?!”

Harry shrunk further into Dave’s side and bit his lip to keep his breathing regular. “You’re fine, they’re all just a bunch of tossers.” He said quietly opening Harry’s door for him and helping him get in. “Give me text sometime you’re free, yeah? Grace misses Unc Haz.” He laughed quietly.

Harry smiled and nodded. “I will, you know you guys are always welcome at my flat.” He smiled. He waited until he saw Dave safely back in the hardware shop before flicking on his blinker and driving through the streets to his and Louis’ favorite Chinese place.

He managed to juggle all the bags in the lift and down the hall towards his flat frowning when Louis wasn’t there with it open like he usually is. Maybe the text he sent saying he was home never sent. That is something like him to do, type out a text and lock the phone forgetting to hit send so he thought nothing of Louis’ absence.

When the door was opened he frowned again seeing a bag of Louis’ clothes, the clothes he kept here for when he slept over, near the door. But, Harry thought, he could just be taking them to wash them then bring them back.

“Babe?” He called out walking towards the kitchen where the light was bleeding into the hallway. “Hey, I got the food. Did you pick out any movies?” he asked setting down the bags and wringing out his wrists undoing the knots that formed from carrying the heavy bags.

Louis just looked at him, his jaw set with his phone clutched in a tight grip. The only reason Harry could tell it was tight was because his knuckles were ghost white. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he frowned reaching over to hold his hand gasping when Louis ripped his hand away.

“Did I-what happened? What did I do?” Harry whimpered quietly, shrinking in on himself from the hatred that was in Louis’ eyes.

“What did you do? Oh I don’t know why don’t you look at these pictures.” Louis said coldly throwing his phone at Harry’s chest.

Harry gasped again rubbing his chest where the phone had hit him and unlocked the phone looking at the pictures.

There were four. One of him going into the hardware shop. One of him paying at the till. One of him and Dave laughing at all the failed attempts to guess the right word. And the last one was of Dave walking him to the car with his arm protectively wrapped around his shoulders.

“I-I don’t get it. I had time to spare before I got the food and had an errand to run. What’s the problem with these pictures?” Harry asked honestly confused as he placed Louis’ phone back on the island top. He wouldn’t dare try to get close to Louis again, he couldn’t take watching Louis flinch away from him.

“What don’t you get?” Louis snapped. “The part where you were using my money for your own selfish needs or the part where you were cheating on me in the process?!” he all but screamed standing up so fast the stool he had been sitting on flew back with a loud crash.

Harry fish mouthed for a few minutes because this was honestly ridiculous. “Louis are you serious? Do you really not trust me to assume things like that?” He asked feeling moisture gathering in his eyes. “Weren’t you the one who told me never to believe the paps?” he asked, his voice cracking a few times.

“Oh shut up Harry.” Louis said exasperated. “I’m not heartless or stupid like you- well maybe I am since I thought you were the one person who wouldn’t use me for my money.” Louis said coldly grabbed the bag of food on the counter and shoving past Harry walking towards the front of the door.

“Louis c’mon wait!” Harry yelled after he broke out of the shock the older lad’s words put him in.  
“Don’t fucking touch me. We’re done. You hear me? Done.” He spit out the letters picking up his bag of clothes and threw it over his shoulder. “You know-” He laughed but there was no humor behind it, “Niall warned me you’d only break my heart. And I didn’t listen to him, now look where that got me.” With one last look he gave Harry, taking in the tears and snot smearing down his face he turned on his heal and left, slamming the door behind him.

Harry honestly felt like his heart had been ripped out, trailing behind Louis as he stormed out. He managed to back himself up against a wall and took shuddering breaths trying to calm his racing heart. When that didn’t work he put his hand over his heart trying to will it to slow down but that only made it worse. He shakily got to his feet, twenty minutes after the love of his life stormed out and managed to stumbled his way to Liam’s apartment.

Since the two had had boyfriends they rarely saw each other like they used to, but right now Harry needed his best friend. He pushed the door of Liam’s flat opened and almost sobbed harder when the familiar scent hit him like a freight train.

“Li I really ne-” he choked out cutting himself off when he got to the living room and stopped short taking in the scene before his clouded eyes.

Liam was sitting there with Niall and Louis eating Chinese as they watched the football, but the second Liam was the state his friend was in he jumped up and started walking around the couch. “Hazza what happened? What’s wrong babe?” he asked frowning when Harry started backing up shaking his head jerkily.

“No-nothing! I-I uh, I forget what I had to ask you. I’m so-sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.” He choked out before turning on his heel and running back to the safety of his flat.

Liam frowned and knew Louis had something to do with all this. He had to of, he never comes here just to hang out. It’s usually when he’s following Harry around like a lost puppy, he thought to himself. “Louis. What the fuck was that?” Liam asked absolutely fuming as he walked back in to the two guys in his living room.

“We broke up.” Louis shrugged nonchalantly, taking another sip of beer. “Niall was right, Harry was only after my money and broke my heart. So I broke up with him earlier.”

“What the fuck do you mean Niall was right?!” he all but screamed and the two sitting on the couch had the decency to look a little sheepish now.

“Relax Li, I just told Louis how I thought Harry was after a little more than just a relationship. He wanted his bank account information basically, I could see it written all over his face since the minute I was introduced to him.” Niall shrugged. “I mean c’mon he’s probably struggling since all he does is make YouTube videos every day of his life.”

“Harry’s fine financially.” Liam spit out standing in front of the telly so they’d stop zoning out on him. “I mean if you want to start pulling that card out, I’ll throw the boyband one at you. Want me to agree with everyone you’re just going to fizzle out soon?” He seethed, clenching his fists together so he wouldn’t do anything too stupid. “He doesn’t just have a YouTube channel, with five million followers, he’s got a blog which he also earns money from. And he does articles for different literary magazines. Just because he doesn’t flash his ‘pretty face’ around and dance on a stage doesn’t mean he isn’t successful.”

“Excuse me? You think we flash our faces around and don’t do any hard labor? You don’t even know the start of the song writing process and then the recording. You don’t get how we travel for nine months out of the year constantly moving from place to place-” Louis shouted before getting caught off by Liam.

“Exactly I don’t get! Just like you don’t and never will understand all the hard work he does on daily basis. Only different between you lot and him, you get breaks where you get to step away from work, he’s constantly there at work. Working from home is a lot more tedious and tiring then you will ever understand.” He spat getting close to Louis’s face pressing out his chest a little.

Niall stood up and put a cautious hand on Liam’s arm, only to have Liam rip it away much like Louis did to Harry earlier. “Babe c’mon don’t be like this.” The Irishman pleaded.

“I’m not you’re ‘babe’ anymore. We’re done so get the fuck out of my flat.” Liam said lowly not breaking his eye contact with Louis’ hard glare until the older lad broke it first.

“After everything I’ve told you, all the shit I vented about and you turn around and do this to me and my best friend. Get the fuck out. I can’t even stand to look at you right now. I bet you two were using us for some quick fucks before you went back on tour. I can’t even stand looking at you. I’m going to check on Harry and when I come back here you better be gone.” And with that he walked to the door and slammed it behind himself making his way to his best friends flat down the hall.

Harry heard the door click open and cowered under his blankets even more. It wasn’t until he was being pulled into muscular arms that he relaxed knowing it was Liam. “Li.” He sobbed out clutching at his shirt, turning his face to cry into his collarbone.

“It’s alright babe, I’m here okay? I’m so sorry.” Liam murmured pressing kisses to his friends’ head feeling his heart break when he saw the opened medicine bottle on Harry’s side table.

It was for when he was really panicking and couldn’t get it under control that he took those pills so he wouldn’t pass out. He hasn’t had to take one in over a year and for him to have to take it because he was all alone broke Liam’s heart.

When the tremors and sobs started to subside Harry felt Liam pull him closer to him and put his lips near his ear. “Can you tell me what happened, sweetheart?” Liam asked him.

And with one more steadying breath Harry told him everything. About the plans they had, him picking it up, getting to catch up with Dave, and then the confrontation with Louis in the kitchen. Harry explained just how empty he felt. And how sad he was. How he hated feeling sad because he felt like he was just stuck in a black hole floating aimlessly.

Liam had to take a deep breath to keep his own emotions at bay and held his friend that much tighter to his chest.

“Who needs them, yeah? I sure as hell don’t, and you don’t either okay?” he said quietly wiping Harry’s damp cheeks.

Harry could only nod sadly before burying his face in Liam’s neck and falling asleep, tired of thinking and wanting a break from his shit reality.

 

~

 

It was two months later, nearing July when Harry found himself with his two friends along with Zayn sitting in his living room. Zayn had been absolutely pissed when he found out what happened, maybe even more pissed than Perrie had been. He had developed a sense of protectiveness over the younger lad and told him he had no idea what had gotten into his two friends. Harry had just smiled shyly and leaned into Zayn on the couch for a night, his way of saying it was okay.

A week after the incident, as he liked to call it, Harry had posted the most raw and truthful blog post ever. It was about heartbreak and how to handle it. In the post he had asked the fans to respect a temporary hiatus he was going to go on away from all internet related things. Every since the incident his anxiety sky rocketed back up to what it was like when he was first diagnosed and he needed to take time for himself and get back in check before he tried helping others again. How could he help others when he could barely help himself?

The four of them had been watching ‘Pirates of the Caribbean” since both Perrie and Zayn shared an intense obsession over Johnny Depp.

When the first movie was over Zayn sat up and faced the two other boys smiling. “So I want to throw a birthday party for Pezza this year, and wanted to recruit you two for help.” He said biting his lip.

“Of course we’ll help!” Liam smiled keeping his arm around Harry’s shoulder.

“All her friends and some of our mutual friends would be invited, it could be at my house since I have a pool, and yeah we could just have loads of fun.” He said shrugging his shoulders.

“H, you’re my friend first, and if you’re not comfortable with him being there he won’t be invited okay?” Perrie said from her place in Zayn’s lap.

“No don’t exclude- that would be mean. Can I just bring Gemma so I won’t get stuck myself again.” He asked biting at his lips.  
“Who’s Gemma?” Zayn asked confused but he didn’t seem against the idea at all.

“Harry’s older sister, you’d like her you two have the same sense of humor.” Liam explained giving Harry a reassuring squeeze.

“Oh! Obviously she’s invited Haz. I can’t wait to meet her!” Zayn said sincerely giving him a comforting smile.

So two weeks later, that’s how Harry found himself in front of Zayn’s door clutching at his sisters hand like he was four again. “We don’t have to stay long okay? We can just go in, chat with Pez for a little and then leave and have a movie night alright?” Gemma reassured. When he nodded his agreement Gemma opened the door because it was unlikely anyone would hear the bell with the music so loud.

Once they walked in and Gemma made them drinks, he lead her over still clutching her hand to where he saw Liam. “Gem!” he shouted excitedly wrapping her up in a hug.

“Wow thanks, Li.” Harry giggled, smiling wider when Liam threw his arms around him after. “Have you seen Pezza?” he asked looking around the crowded room.

“Yeah she’s over there,” Liam said nodding his head in the direction of her and Zayn across from them.

Harry nodded and squeezed his sisters hands. He could feel Louis’ eyes following him across the room and he did his best to ignore him, smiling when he stopped in front of his friends. After the proper hugs were given and happy birthdays said, Harry turned to Zayn and smiled. “Z this is my sister Gemma, Gemma this is Zayn.”

Zayn set his drink down and pulled Gemma into a hug similar to the one Liam had, as if they had been friends for years. While Harry was chatting with Perrie he missed Gemma putting her mouth closer to Zayn’s ear so she could speak to him. “Thank you for being so nice to him, you won’t ever know how much that means to him. Or me.” She said and pulled back to smile at him. Zayn blushed and nodded not knowing how else to respond, but he figured that was something that didn’t need a response.

An hour and a half later Harry and Zayn were standing next to each other as they watching Liam, Perrie, and Gemma dancing around like crazy people. Harry couldn’t stop laughing and felt like he was a second away from weeing his pants. “I’m going to the bathroom, be right back.” He shouted over the music and when Zayn nodded Harry made his way upstairs.

When he was washing his hands someone tried to open the door and when it was locked they knocked, “One minute,” Harry said politely drying off his hands with the towel on the rack. He took a minute to fix his hair and shirt before turning back to the wooden door undoing the lock.

Once it was opened he gasped and immediately looked down at his feet, not feeling strong enough to take the hatred that was still in Louis’ eyes. “Uh-excuse me...” he stuttered out trying to get past his ex-boyfriend in the doorway.

‘Yeah go run back to your girlfriend. Rub it in my face some more.” Louis snapped bitterly.

Harry looked up at him for a minute before shaking his head, “You’re honestly ridiculous.” He said finally finding some courage to speak up to him. “I don’t have a girlfriend; I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’m about as straight as a rainbow, or was having your dick up my ass not enough proof of that?” Harry snapped crossing his arms. “But yeah, I’m going to go back downstairs and have some fun with my sister.”

Louis looked at him in shock, his face turning bright red and by the time he found his voice he had lost Harry in the crowd again.

 

~

It took a while but Liam finally convinced Harry to do Playlist again this year. He had so much fun the last two years he wasn’t going to let his broken heart come in the way of anything else.

So Harry found himself between the window and Liam en route to Florida, USA. The whole week leading up to him leaving Harry had been getting texts after texts from Louis begging for forgiveness but Harry respected himself too much to fall back so easily. So when his phone vibrated yet again he handed it to Liam for him to deal with without even looking at the screen.

Eight long hours later Liam and Harry were walking into their hotel room and flopping down on the bed. Ever since his career with YouTube started to really kickoff Liam became his manager in a sense. But Harry couldn’t be more grateful.

“When’s the first meet and greet?” Harry asked rolling onto his tummy, letting out a contented sigh at the soft pillow.

“About an hour and a half.” Liam said after a few seconds. “So take a shower if you want and we can maybe grab some food before we have to go set up.” Liam said pulling his suitcase up onto the bed to rifle for a nice shirt to wear.

The thing Harry loved the most about YouTube and what he did for a living was the times like this. When he got to personally meet a bunch of people who have watched him for different amounts of time and always share their own stories about dealing with anxiety and depression. They always thank him too, which at first he was confused by but now he just hugs them tighter.

It’s when he’s taking down his vlogging camera that it happens. One of the guards who had been assigned to his meet up walked over to him and Liam where they were reviewing the video he took which he’ll speed up of meeting everyone, and says that there’s one last fan who wanted to meet him. They had gotten stuck in traffic and were unable to make it here on time.

Liam’s about to decline saying Harry needed to take a break but Harry shook his head not wanted one person to be left out. “Send them in.” he said with a smile.

He’s taking big sips from his water bottle, facing away from the door with Liam in front of him when the door opens and Liams’ glare forms and hardens instantly. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he spits.

Harry is taken aback by Liam’s tone and turns around to apologize for him but-oh. It’s Louis walking towards them with a bouquet of yellow daisies, and he remembered they were his favorite. “What- I don’t understand. What are you doing here Louis?” he manages to get out quietly leaning back into Liam for comfort.

“Harry I made such a huge mistake.” Louis said taking big gulps of air as if he had been running a mile and just stopped in to say hi.

“Took you long enough.” Liam huffed and Harry elbowed him, “Stop Li, I wanna hear what he has to say.” Harry said quietly, eyes never leaving Louis’.

“It took me a year to realize how fucking stupid and mean I was to you. And I’m so sorry Harry. I-I ran into that guy from the hardware store and he nearly broke my face for hurting you so bad. I-I didn’t know that was the Dave you have told me about, the one with the daughter Grace-”

“Well I mean I tried explaining it but you wouldn’t really let me.” Harry said quietly crossing his arms over his stomach shifting his gaze down to Louis’ shoes.

“And I’m so sorry for that, I-I just get so set on one thing that that’s the only thing that makes sense you know? Like it seems logical so I believe it and when people try to change my mind I get upset. I tend to let my mouth run on for too long.” He said sheepishly. “Listen, I’m not here to beg for you to take me back, because I know I don’t deserve it. But I am asking for another chance to be friends? Acquaintances even. I miss you so much, Haz. Please I’m so, so sorry.” Louis said slowly making his way over to Harry keeping a safe distance as he held out the flowers.

“Louis you really didn’t come all the way to America to apologize and honestly think I wouldn’t accept it did you?” Harry giggled shaking his head. He took the flowers and handed them to Liam before walking forward and stepping into Louis’ arms.

“This doesn’t automatically put us right back how were. Like, you really hurt me Lou. I think I need to rebuild some trust for you.” Harry said quietly biting his lip, holding Louis as close as he could.

“Harry I’ll do anything, anything for you I swear.” Louis choked out, wrapping one arm around the younger lad’s waist and resting his other hand on the back of his head holding Harry as close as he possibly could.

“Oh and uh Li, Niall’s kind of out in the lobby with like seven teddy bears.” Louis said cursing himself because he forgot to say that when he came in. “I knew I was forgetting something.” He muttered cherishing the little giggle he got out of Harry.

~

**One Year Later**

“Ready?” Harry asked as he made sure the mic, lights, and angle of the camera were all okay.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Louis smiled pressing a kiss to his lips when he sat down next to him.

Harry rolled his eyes fondly and leaned forward to press record. Once he settled back in his seat he took a minute to think over what he was going to say, giving Louis a small encouraging smile.

“Hello everyone! Welcome back to my channel,” he started out giving his dimpled grin to the camera. “As you can all see I’m joined by a very special guest today, special guest please introduce yourself.”

Louis chuckled squeezing Harry’s thigh gently since the camera stopped at their chests. “Hi, I’m Louis. This one’s boyfriend.” He smiled looking back at the younger lad.

“I-well we wanted to make this video to clear away some rumors, so we took to twitter and asked you guys to send us some questions. So, I’ll read the first one out. Are you guys engaged?” he read before looking up at the camera getting ready to answer when Louis touched his arm,

“Before you answer that truthfully, I needed to ask you something.” He explained standing up to push the camera back slightly so more of them was in the frame. Once he deemed it good enough he smiled at Harry and dropped down to one knee. “We wouldn’t want to lie to them after all, H. Will you marry me?” He asked pulling out a box with a silver band in it and holding it up to the younger lad.

Harry was in shock for few moments but once he realized Louis wasn't going to shout joking or anything he jumped up and tackled him to the ground, repeating yes after yes as he smashed their lips together.

And it didn’t surprise either of them that that was the most watched video they had ever made together.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Lovelies! I hope you all enjoyed reading this! Please leave comments/suggestions/ and kudos I appreciate each and every one!  
> [tumblr](http://stainedcoffee-cups.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Happy Reading! xx


End file.
